Joaquin Doesn't Suck As Much This Time

[Joaquin]

Ok guys. I’m going to warn you. This is gonna be a bit long lol. Since you guys are all talking about how this game was hard on you, I’d like to talk a bit about that. This game was hard for a lot of people and it was hard for me too. We all have our reasons that this game was very tough for us and I really appreciate all three of you elaborating on that and I totally respect your reasons but it made me think about how this game was VERY hard for me too. Probably the hardest game I’ve played just in terms of the psychological element. I was just gonna make a little congrats paragraph, ask a question or two, and cast my vote but this (as well as some of your other answers and OSs) got me thinking. So I want to talk a bit about that.

When I decided to reach out to JW to play this game, I had a goal to confess more, be more active (since I wasn’t as busy anymore and not in another game this time), and get far. It was a way to redeem myself and to show JW that everyone has off times but that I’m not the inactive spawn of Satan he probably thought I was. I felt when I was eliminated prejury at a (bullshit) “random tribal council” that I had done that. I had confessed a lot in those first few rounds, was set up fairly well had I gone to an ACTUAL tribal, and was dedicated. I was content and I really didn’t have much a plan to return to the game even though the offer was out there. Then as the game went on and I wasn’t in another game, I wanted to get back in to be able to play and to help Keri and Chris (Sierra & Matty) who I knew were struggling and had really only survived thanks to a solid tribe that allowed them to #cochrekt the competition for a few rounds.

So I decided to come back in, did the challenge (which I assumed I had to do to get back in), and Matty made sure to give up immunity to get me back in. I knew as someone who had already been eliminated, it was unrealistic to think I would be rewarded by a jury had I made it to the end so I decided on a certain path of action. I would eliminate the people who frankly did not deserve to be in and who I wasn’t a huge fan of in this particular game and when I felt the numbers were somewhat even and Keri, Chris, Zach, Grant, etc. all had an equal shot at the win, I would bow out and ask to be voted out. Let the best fight it out. But then we found the Life Saver and didn’t want to waste it on the likes of Coach which was understandable. So against my emotional intuition but admittedly pissed off at having been voted out and seeing Courtney go, I voted out Alec. At that point, I was in too deep because there was going to be no real shot at equalizing the numbers anymore. So I decided to go true Joaquin and play for Matty and Sierra. I couldn’t win so why not? Then the next round I came up with a plan that I loved. Ian wanted to flip and implied that Nay wanted to flip. I made sure Ian and Nay were gonna vote Coach. I also wanted Steph and Sierra Dawn to vote Coach. He would go with 4 votes and then myself, Sierra, and Matty could vote for Brandon to force the tie against Fabio, Brandon, and Coach. We could take out Brandon on the revote and then we had officially decimated the other side (except for Fabio which I had no intention of doing).

But Sierra Dawn fucked it all up because Ian was “a looser.” Ian (who after #Englishgate, I thought was a goat for me to win and who now wanted to work with me) left. I now reassess the situation. I wanted Sierra Dawn out for many reasons and I began to realize that if I could get Steph and Nay to the end, I could potentially win against two people who had ACTUALLY played a worse game than me. So I manipulated Matty into voting out Sierra Dawn (one of my proudest moments (not the manipulation part) this game especially after her reaction when I got to Ponderosa) and she left. Now I was a little pissed at Sierra. After all I had done for her all game, she was mad that I dared to do something that didn’t directly benefit her and benefitted myself for once. And she retaliated by targeting me in Majority Rules and by not taking me to the Treasure Trove (after I had taken her the round before and didn’t take Nay who had taken me). I was pissed but she had immunity. So I had a choice. Going with my F3 plan, I couldn’t vote out Steph or Nay and I figured after all my promises, it would be suicidal jury management to vote out Fabio. That left Matty. Now I don’t get emotions a ton ngl. I have them but I can be a bit of a socially awkward guy and I think very strategically (both in my real life and in ORGs) so I don’t realize that blindsiding my best friend in ORGs the round after I asked him to vote out SD as a favor to me is the best thing to do on an emotional level. Long story short, there was a very long talk that basically ended with it being clear that if I voted him out, he and Sierra would be rather bitter jurors and would not be voting for me. I then realized that without their votes (which I was banking on), I had 0 shot at winning. Now I have common sense. If I can’t win there’s no point of going to the end, especially at the cost of hurting Matty, Sierra, and Fabio by voting them all out. So I decide to essentially bow out. I voted against Steph (hoping she would go) and then I planned on asking to be voted out at 5. But the tie was forced and I thankfully went in the rock draw. So suffice enough to say, this game was by no means easy on me either.

Now that I’ve talked about me, I want to get into why (keeping all this in mind) I have a problem voting for each of you. I want to make that clear. At this moment, I don’t plan on casting a vote. So let’s start this off with Nay. My problem with you is that I don’t think you played this game very well or really did much of anything. If what you say is true about the Reynold vote, then I can’t help but have respect for that because that was a great move but your excuse as to why you then didn’t continue to make moves is weak. You didn’t want to make yourself too visible because you wouldn’t get to the end? You’re sitting next to THE most visible player in the game so that’s a very weak excuse to just stop making good moves like the Reynold boot. Which you can argue you didn’t but I think it’s clear that what I’m saying is true. You really didn’t do much else premerge after the Reynold boot but be a blind number for the Warriors pregame. Then, at the merge, you did remained a number for the Warriors crew and didn’t really hatch many plans yourself. You also unnecessarily led the minority alliance on three times. Your reasoning for the Courtney lie makes sense. It’s still lying to the minority which is risky but it is reasonable. But you didn’t stop there. During the Alec round, you told me that you wanted to flip and vote Coach. In fact, you talked to me for 2 hours about flipping but kept it vague so I asked directly if you planned on flipping. You didn’t respond for a half hour. With about 10 minutes left before the deadline, I asked again and finally you told me you were going to “probably vote in a different direction.” Lying up until 10 minutes before the deadline is still leading us on. Then again the next round, you lied to Ian and had him believe you were willing to flip with him which is why I accounted you in the split plan. At this point there was literally no reason to lie to us and the only reason Coach left was because Brandon voted Ian. You led us on 3 times. Then you were a vote for the Sierra Dawn round but you did not “manipulate” me into voting that way by taking me to the trove. I knew Sierra Dawn was a threat to win and a threat to me personally so I voted the way I did on my own. And the only reason I wanted to work with you was because I thought I could beat you (which I admittedly couldn’t because of bitter jurors and a few people’s lack of care/respect for the game). So that was MY move. You didn’t “manipulate” me. Then the rocks round where you needlessly risked your life AND performed some of the worst jury management I’ve ever seen (and that’s including Tyler in Twisted 4 LOL; inside jokes). You literally wished Fabio luck in the AIM chat and completely ignored me as if I was garbage. I was happy to get out because of the reasons I listed but you still knew I was going to be on the jury and you still treated me very poorly on my way out for no real reason. Oh and you celebrated when I was out with “the cheers of the audience.” Then you voted out Matty who was someone you could beat, having read through Ponderosa, AND tried to take Fabio to the end who would’ve unanimously shut you out in a jury vote. You really were not responsible for a single boot in this game except for Reynold and maybe me (which was foolish because you could’ve beat me). I only have 1 question for you and despite everything I just said, I may still vote you. Why laugh at me on my way out at F6 knowing I would be a jury vote? You can also argue any point I made but that’s my question for you.

Steph. My main problem with you is on a personal level and so I won’t address it here since it doesn’t really pertain to the game and since you’ll probably take a lot of shit for it in that game. But as far as this game, you admittedly did not do much this game despite some early plans and you went fairly inactive. I think the comparison you made to Luanda Joaq is totally fair because you went inactive due to some factors that made it hard to play this game so you played more for Sierra to win which I get. Keri is pretty great and I did the same at one point. I do want you to know that it will be very hard to vote for you because of my problems with you on a personal/moral level but if Sierra and Nay leave me no choice, it’s what I’ll probably do. So my question is if you were the Joaq of TSG AS, why should I vote for you when you didn’t even want to vote for TSG Joaq yourself?

Sierra. This one is gonna be tough for many reasons. I didn’t really have a huge problem with voting for you coming in but I have 3 now. And I need them justified if you’re going to get my vote. I plan to vote out of my love/respect for Survivor which is why it’s tough atm to vote your way. My first issue with you is your lack of awareness of the game that took place around you. This one has developed as this FTC has gone on. A lot of what you said has just baffled me and game awareness is one of the most important things to me. It’s why I always ask my juror power rankings question because it’s hard to vote for someone who doesn’t have great game awareness. So my first question to you is to please justify a few statements I’ve taken from what you’ve said so far (listed below). My second problem with you comes from your lack of respect for Survivor which is one of the deciding factors in my vote. So my second question to you is if you had lost the tiebreaker at 4 and been voted out, who would you have voted for to win and why? My final issue with you is your lack of respect of me and everything I did for you in this game. Deny it if you’d like but I came back in with the sole intention of helping you equalize the numbers, not to win. When I realized I had a small chance to win and decided to play a little for myself, I eliminated a vicious person who had unnecessarily targeted me (despite me saving her ass with the life saver as well) and who couldn’t even be bothered talking to me in the game outside of checking who I was voting for. You subsequently alienated me like I was some kind of sociopath, totally disregarded what I had done for you including keeping you in the game on a revote where it was in my better interest to eliminate you, targeted me in Majority Rules, apparently had a plan to eliminate me that round if more people would be on board, and didn’t take me to the Trove after I totally screwed over Nay for you by not taking her the round before and taking you instead. I then LITERALLY sacrificed my game for you (and Chris) by going to rocks when it was in my better interest not to and getting myself eliminated and even here you continue to make statements as if I was some sort of untrustworthy scum not worth the dirt on your shoe because I eliminated Sierra Dawn. Not only was I your ally but I’m your friend and the way you’re treating me at this FTC is really disheartening. Oh and your hypocrisy. You have stated that you intended to go to the end with Matty and Sierra Dawn rather than Matty and I so after you guilted me into feeling like a douche for wanting to eliminate you and Chris you had every intention of doing literally the exact same thing to me. But you guilted me into feeling like shit for even considering voting you out with your holier than thou attitude when you were going to do the same thing to me. So my final question to you is why should I vote for someone who clearly has a total lack of respect for me as a player and as a friend? And why you think the hypocrisy you exhibited is perfectly acceptable? If you can’t clear up these three problems, I won’t be able to vote for you.

1. “Sierra Dawn, you really are one of my favourite people I've ever met in these games, and you were absolutely my rock for the entire time we were together.” (there were many people every round that went your way and were in your corner, not just Sierra Dawn)

2. “Joaq screwed SD at 7 with a view to force me to sink with her. He would not listen to reason and his illogical argument re: why she "needed" to go made it clear that he was going to come after me ASAP, likely with your help.” (I did have a plan to vote you out after SD but I want to be clear that I was very much not willing to do it until you started defending SD so much right after she had targeted me and it became clear that she meant more to you as an ally than I did. I thought you had a plan to go to the end with Steph and her over me which pissed me off tbh. I was close to you but that didn’t mean I had to defend your allies, especially after they target me.)

3. “my closest alliance (me-Sierra-Matty)” (REALLY?!?!)

4. “The point is, though, no one was falling on any swords for me.” (Regardless of the reason, I literally went to rocks next round instead of sending Matty, and you the next round, out and sent myself out.)

5. Your entire response in SD’s thread.

I want you all to know that this is very hard for me to do. I like all 3 of you a lot for various reasons but on a game level it is tough to cast the vote that JW wants me to cast and at the moment I truly can’t. So I want you to please not take my statements/questions as attacks. I know they seem harsh but I’m only trying to get to the bottom of stuff so that I can vote how I think is right. Please respond FAIRLY and don’t attack me back and turn this into a petty argument. Thanks.

[Steph]

have problems with me on a personal level if you want but I'm done being upset about it. I know my morals and I know what I did and I didn't abuse or manipulate anything. do I feel bad that I hurt someone when it was the opposite of what I intended? of course. of course I fucking feel bad. but I'm not a bad person and I am just completely done with being crucified for it.

I play orgs to have fun. I played that org to have fun. anything that was told to me outside the context of the game was never used in the game. if it had been, votes would've gone down differently from outside info I had been told. I'm not a "sociopath" by any means and frankly that entire speech was way more extreme than the situation demanded.

but yeah, if you wanna hate me for that? have fun! I really couldn't care. you're a person from the Internet who cast votes to eliminate me in a survivor game two seasons in a row. I'm not gonna be affected by it. I don't hate people from these things except people like Ian who are actually horrible people or people like Skylar who threatened to burn down my house with my entire family inside. that warrants hatred. not what I did. but again, it's up to you how you feel about me.

why do I deserve your vote when I didn't wanna vote for you last season? well the difference between us in the two seasons is that last season you were playing for keri to win and did very little else. you lied to me when she wanted you to and you admittedly didn't do much else. the difference here is that, while I may not have been very active because the vibe of the game was awful and annoying and negative as hell and I didn't really wanna get involved with that shit, I still had an impact. I was able to flip a vote from someone hard against the twisted side to get me back in the game. I was a loose cannon enough that at varying points in the jury phase many people counted on and expected me to vote with them. when my final three of SD and Brandon was voted out, I could've easily followed. but I didn't. I stayed in and ended up being rather pivotal to most of the votes thereafter. I didn't really have strong relationships with anyone left at that point. at least for this game. I mean yeah I love keri and Chris and Zach but keri and Zach both ignored me a lot which alienated me and prevented me from really caring who went. when Zach went to rocks for me the round you went out, I guess he expected me to return the favor by keeping him in f4 but nah, as much as I wanted to work with him round 1 he hadn't wanted to work with me until like f7 and that wasn't enough for me to save who would obviously win in the end. so I sent him home and made the final 3 all female mostly as an lol at the fact that this cast was 3/10 female and we still could make finals lol.

long story short, if you vote for me, cool! if you hate me, cool! if both, cool! thanks for your time guacamole.

[Sierra]

okay like I feel COMPELLED to respond to this right now even though I shouldn't be doing it.

I never meant to make anyone feel like this season was hard for only ME or like I was minimizing anyone else's experience. I know this game has been a bitch for a lot of people, you included, and by the time your elimination came around I was hurting for you as much as myself. 

My first issue with you is your lack of awareness of the game that took place around you. This one has developed as this FTC has gone on. A lot of what you said has just baffled me and game awareness is one of the most important things to me. It’s why I always ask my juror power rankings question because it’s hard to vote for someone who doesn’t have great game awareness. So my first question to you is to please justify a few statements I’ve taken from what you’ve said so far (listed below).

1. “Sierra Dawn, you really are one of my favourite people I've ever met in these games, and you were absolutely my rock for the entire time we were together.” (there were many people every round that went your way and were in your corner, not just Sierra Dawn)

I never said she was my only ally or that she was the only one who ever stuck with me. "Rock" was more of a personal thing -- like, having her around kept me emotionally grounded. That's not to say that you and Matty weren't both incredibly important to me, too, but I feel like that's almost a given at this point. You guys have been my friends for a while now, and y'all know I'll happily remind you how much I adore you every 5 minutes if you so desire. Sierra was a new relationship I made within the confines of this game. That's why I'm really making a point of acknowledging it here.

2. “Joaq screwed SD at 7 with a view to force me to sink with her. He would not listen to reason and his illogical argument re: why she "needed" to go made it clear that he was going to come after me ASAP, likely with your help.” (I did have a plan to vote you out after SD but I want to be clear that I was very much not willing to do it until you started defending SD so much right after she had targeted me and it became clear that she meant more to you as an ally than I did. I thought you had a plan to go to the end with Steph and her over me which pissed me off tbh. I was close to you but that didn’t mean I had to defend your allies, especially after they target me.)

Okay, you didn't have to defend my allies. That's fine. However, it also made no sense whatsoever for you to target someone who had had a round-long flight of fancy against you over people who had been obviously against ALL OF US for the entire game. You were very obviously acting out of your own benefit, so I argued for mine, especially since your argument made it obvious your long term plans didn't include me.

3. “my closest alliance (me-Sierra-Matty)” (REALLY?!?!)

Sorry this upsets you. I don't mean to diminish our relationship at all, in or out of game. I'd had an alliance with Sierra since very early on in the game and it expanded to a threesome with Matty like a round later. When you left initially, I made the decision to fully commit to that three. I wasn't expecting you to return, and I feel like it would've been beyond shitty for me to turn my back on Sierra just because you had come back into the game. 

4. “The point is, though, no one was falling on any swords for me.” (Regardless of the reason, I literally went to rocks next round instead of sending Matty, and you the next round, out and sent myself out.)

Like the thing is that I never really saw myself as involved in that whole thing. I kind of thought I was done for after SD's boot and half checked out. I guess this is as good a time as any to clarify that I wasn't mad at you for making a move of any kind. I was mad because you manipulated your REAL relationship with Chris to make him side with you, and then looked to put a knife in his back as soon as you could. It wasn't anything to do with me or my feelings. I just was really unimpressed with how you handled it and felt horrible for Chris. Your plan might have been good, but the way you executed it torched my vote. 

5. Your entire response in SD’s thread.

Don't really know what you want me to say about this. I'm sorry if you think I'm simultaneously overselling Sierra as my ally while understating your influence. That isn't my intention.

My second problem with you comes from your lack of respect for Survivor which is one of the deciding factors in my vote. So my second question to you is if you had lost the tiebreaker at 4 and been voted out, who would you have voted for to win and why?
I don't think seeing the game from a different perspective than you means I have a "lack of respect for Survivor". I actually realized yesterday that we are a hilarious ORG mismatch in like every way, which makes it even more astounding that we actually made it through Luanda like we did. From what I heard from other people, you were frequently "mad" at me for one reason or another throughout the course of this game, and you weren't generally all that communicative with me (which I also accept responsibility for, since it's a two way street). Part of the reason I really wanted us to work out in That Other Game was to see if there was any way that you and I could be a real duo in a game where we were both actually playing without crashing and burning because we're so different. I guess the jury is still out on that one.

As for your question: I know which answer you want me to give out of "respect for Survivor", but I'm not sure I can give it with full confidence. I'd have absolutely no reason to vote for Steph except that she forced the tie for me in the first place, especially considering she isn't really present at this FTC, so that probably wouldn't happen. It's tougher between Fabio and Nay, and it's honestly mostly rooted in how I felt they interacted with me personally. Zach and I are obviously friends (or at least I hope we are :"""() outside the game, but in the context of this game, I don't think we ever interacted like... at all. I talked a lot with Coach and Alec even though they were against me, but Zach and I were like diametrically opposing avatars and just never talked at all. Obviously I'm partially culpable for this too, though, and it's not a deal breaker by any means. That complete lack of interaction would be the only thing that made me think twice about voting for him, FTC performances aside (although those would admittedly be very important). Nay clearly puts forth a good FTC and was also socially attentive and receptive to me, which as you should know is pretty important to me. However, not voting for the person who was my equal and opposite throughout the game would be an insult not only to him, but to myself. Like I said, tough call. I told Nay before the F4 vote that I'd vote for her if I didn't make it to the end (I'm impulsive when I'm emotional okay -- you know this), but now that I've had time to think about it and logically evaluate it, I'm leaning more towards Fabio.

But you guilted me into feeling like shit for even considering voting you out with your holier than thou attitude when you were going to do the same thing to me. So my final question to you is why should I vote for someone who clearly has a total lack of respect for me as a player and as a friend? And why you think the hypocrisy you exhibited is perfectly acceptable?
Can you clarify as to how I guilted you? I intentionally avoided speaking to you after the SD vote because I didn't want to start getting emotional about it and I figured I was probably done for anyway. I was kind of just ready for it to be over. I knew you weren't in my ideal end-game plans because of the deal I'd had all game with Matty/Sierra, so I didn't really have any right to be mad about me ultimately not being in yours. As I saw it, any issues from the SD vote on were between you and Chris, since he was the one you manipulated to vote in your favour. I made my choice in sticking with SD and I stood by that and still do. Like I said earlier, any ill feelings I had towards you after that round were based entirely in what you did to Chris, not what you did to me (because you didn't really do anything to me except act in your own best interest instead of mine -- not a punishable offence here). I'm sorry that my actions came off as hypocritical or like I was guilt tripping you, because I wasn't. I just tried to stay out of it because the relationship involved was yours and Chris', not yours and mine. I figured I'd just let you do you, and I didn't expect it to get to you so much. I very obviously didn't want to see you go in the rock draw, because by that time I was aware of how much the decision you'd made was hurting you, and I don't like seeing my friends hurt, no matter what.

Side note: I didn't think I'd been that disparaging towards you at this FTC, but I can see how some of my comments might have come off as digs at you. None of them were. I have admittedly not credited you enough as an ally and it kills me to think that you believe I don't value or have no respect for our real friendship beyond the confines of this game, because that's absolutely not true.

Okay I think I'm done for now. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything. 

[Steph]

thanks keri

[Ian]

Oct 30, 2015 0:43:13 GMT Steph said:

I don't hate people from these things except people like Ian who are actually horrible people or people like Skylar who threatened to burn down my house with my entire family inside. that warrants hatred. not what I did. but again, it's up to you how you feel about me.

holy shit you little fuck, steph, can you please get off your high horse and realize no one gives a shit about you, and that you are of no value to the rest of this universe??? I only say things like this to you because you are so fucking delusional, are rude and obnoxious, and you think you are entitled to everything. sierra dawn may be naively annoying, but I can't stand people like you. hell, you make Sierra Dawn seem like an Angel, and that is saying a lot comin from me.

[Steph]

thanks you're a delight

[Na'Onka]

I think the best way for me to respond to this is point by point because I don't want to miss things.

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

During the Alec round, you told me that you wanted to flip and vote Coach. In fact, you talked to me for 2 hours about flipping but kept it vague so I asked directly if you planned on flipping. You didn’t respond for a half hour. With about 10 minutes left before the deadline, I asked again and finally you told me you were going to “probably vote in a different direction.” Lying up until 10 minutes before the deadline is still leading us on.

I just went back to reread our chat logs from that night. I'll admit that I did play into the idea more than I remembered and maybe presented in my response to Matty, but I didn't intend for it to be a malicious thing. We did talk for a long time that night, but the part of our convo pertaining to the vote didn't span two hours at all. When you brought up the vote I said Sierra Dawn had told me Coach and you asked if I was down and I said "I'm not sure tbh". I pointed out that I really didn't see Coach as a threat and didn't think it would make sense. I was trying to indirectly tell you I'm down to vote for someone from the Warriors Clan, but not Coach. You agreed with the reasoning, but also said that we could do a bigger threat next round. I couldn't vote with your alliance at the final 11 for Coach, then again at the final 10 for the bigger threat (i.e. -Alec) because then your crew (Sierra, Steph, Matty, SD, and you) control the votes and there's no option for me to switch back to the warriors and break up your five-some. I 100% would have voted Alec with you guys that round though and that's why I approached you for a conversation that night, but it didn't materialize.

At the time I felt like my skepticism made it clear that I wasn't voting for Coach, but rereading it I can see how that wouldn't necessarily be the case. I did go 20 minutes without answering you when you directly asked me about voting Coach again and that's a pretty shitty thing to do, so my apologies. When you asked me a second time after I didn't respond though, I answered immediately (21 minutes before the deadline) and said I was "probably going to swing in a different direction".

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

Then again the next round, you lied to Ian and had him believe you were willing to flip with him which is why I accounted you in the split plan. At this point there was literally no reason to lie to us and the only reason Coach left was because Brandon voted Ian. You led us on 3 times.

I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about here, so not sure if there was some miscommunication about this round. Ian told me that he was voting Coach, yes, but I never said I was going to do that, nor did Ian ever imply to me that it was expected that I was doing so. In fact we talked about how I was going to keep my vote on Sierra and in theory it would be her and Coach leaving. I also never heard anything about a split vote plan here and am not sure what my role in it would have been.

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

Then you were a vote for the Sierra Dawn round but you did not “manipulate” me into voting that way by taking me to the trove. I knew Sierra Dawn was a threat to win and a threat to me personally so I voted the way I did on my own. And the only reason I wanted to work with you was because I thought I could beat you (which I admittedly couldn’t because of bitter jurors and a few people’s lack of care/respect for the game). So that was MY move. You didn’t “manipulate” me.

I'm not trying to perpetuate that I outright manipulated you into doing something you had never thought about. I know you were playing the game and already considering your own options. But if I had taken Brandon to the trove over you, do I think your turning would have been at least slightly less likely? Yes, 100%. Do I think I instilled some paranoia in you when I said people were pissed that I took you to the trove even though no one had said anything to me about it yet? Again, yes.

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

Then the rocks round where you needlessly risked your life

I don't think my risking rocks at the final 6 was something that was needless. It was 100% necessary for my game. You had essentially just told and shown me that you would never be turning against Matty and Sierra. We were about to be in the final 5 after that vote so there would be no hope of doing anything besides immunity whoring to the end since you guys could effectively control things. At least with Steph in the game there was a shot of both Fabio and I surviving the next vote, which did end up happening. It also gave me something to point out to the jury as a bold move that I made. So yah incredibly risky move, but by no means needless.

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

AND performed some of the worst jury management I’ve ever seen (and that’s including Tyler in Twisted 4 LOL; inside jokes). You literally wished Fabio luck in the AIM chat and completely ignored me as if I was garbage. I was happy to get out because of the reasons I listed but you still knew I was going to be on the jury and you still treated me very poorly on my way out for no real reason. Oh and you celebrated when I was out with “the cheers of the audience.”

Before I get into this, I will offer you a genuine apology for all the things you just stated. I do feel especially shitty for that seeing that you took it to heart. I openly wished good luck to Fabio in response to him saying he felt unloved or something similar. It wasn't meant to be a slight to you and I just wasn't thinking of your feelings. The "cheers of the audience" thing was a failed joke that was totally uncalled for though. I was frustrated at the enjoyment others seemed to be taking in the situation throughout the whole process leading up to the actual draw, so it was an emotional response to that. A totally justified reason to not give me your vote, but hopefully you don't think I'm a horrible person.

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

Why laugh at me on my way out at F6 knowing I would be a jury vote? You can also argue any point I made but that’s my question for you.

Oh whoops, I kinda just started to answer this. I did it as an emotional response to the things going on around me. Like I mentioned, the frustration of watching others seem to the enjoy the going to rocks contributed to that response. Having you vote Steph in the revote also frustrated me and further contributed. I can understand it better now from a more distant perspective, but at the time it was just a really frustrating move that I didn't understand and was upset by.

[Joaquin]

Thanks to all 3 of you. I really appreciate your answers and I can honestly say that I think you all answered the best possible ways you could and exactly what I was hoping for. I'm going to make a decision but I can feel confident in casting my vote now so thanks to all of you for that. A couple of final comments.

Steph- I don't hate you. I wish we could've talked more after Luanda because I enjoyed our relationship a lot in that game tbh despite my inactivity and intentions of that game sort of fucking you over. Despite that "other thing," thank you for your response and good luck.

Nay- I totally respect the fact that you could admit a few of your faults in your response to my question. It takes a very big person/player to respond the way you did rather than attack me. I appreciate you defending yourself where it was called for as well. Thanks and good luck.

Sierra- It's too hard to stay mad at you lol. I was not in the best place when I wrote a lot of this and I appreciate you responding the way you did and putting up with my emotions (ew why must I have them). You know we'll always be friends <3. Good luck!

[Sierra]

we're a romance now not just friends < 3

[Ian]

Oct 30, 2015 3:30:24 GMT Na'Onka said:

Oct 29, 2015 22:53:03 GMT Joaquin said:

Then again the next round, you lied to Ian and had him believe you were willing to flip with him which is why I accounted you in the split plan. At this point there was literally no reason to lie to us and the only reason Coach left was because Brandon voted Ian. You led us on 3 times.

I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about here, so not sure if there was some miscommunication about this round. Ian told me that he was voting Coach, yes, but I never said I was going to do that, nor did Ian ever imply to me that it was expected that I was doing so. In fact we talked about how I was going to keep my vote on Sierra and in theory it would be her and Coach leaving. I also never heard anything about a split vote plan here and am not sure what my role in it would have been.

To clarify, I did really believe Nay would've flipped with me if needed, but I did tell her to just stick with voting out Sierra.